My Spam Friends benefit from a will

My 1957 Chevrolet, which meant so much to me, I bequeath to Ulysses Mack. The priceless stamp collection, passed to me by my own grandfather, should be equally divided between Salvatore Flowers, Samantha B. Brandt and my friend Langley Laverne. All my Viagra, I leave to Ivory T. Walton.

My Spam Friends in the Ladies' Quarter Finals

Magdelena Triplett v Molly Sexton

Goldie I. Lopez v Corina Delong

Sherri Crum v Evangelina Gaston

Orphelia Magee v Esmeralda Curtis

My Spam Friends reach the Men's Quarter Finals

Brock Busby v Barton Ackerman

Rudolf Rosacker v Roman Schmitz

Socorro Trevino v Quincy Diamond

Merlin Funk v Pablo Goldstein

My spam friends in court

Archie Wolff, you are charged that on the 27th November 2003, you did knowingly encourage one Alfonzo Beltran to believe that he could grow biologically younger in just 30 days, contrary to Section 14 of the Spam Act of 1977. How do you plead?